I think there’s just something in the DNA of every human being that tries to cover up vulnerabilities and weaknesses that we see in ourselves. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about, because that describes me much more than I’d like to admit!

However, I think this pattern started way back in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve felt shame because sin had revealed their vulnerabilities and “nakedness.” It continued when Adam blamed “the woman” God had given him, and Eve blamed “the serpent” for deceiving her {See Gen. 3:1-13}. Yada, yada, yada to the present day . . . we duck and run for cover.

The funny thing is, this tendency to cover ourselves typically doesn’t get extended to our spouses. But I really believe that . . .

[Tweet “When you cover your spouse’s failures, you’ll improve your marriage & love will grow! “]

One of the most convicting descriptions of love is found in the 1st Corinthians 13 “love chapter.”

“Love . . . takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong] . . . is ever ready to believe the best of every person . . .” (AMP, section from verses 5 and 7).

That, my friends, is an example of “covering” the shame and vulnerabilities of our mates. It is one of the hardest expressions of love to give, but we are never more like our Savior than when we stretch those love and grace muscles in this way with our mates, as well as, others.

I know that I am far from living out this practice when I take delight in exposing my spouse’s weaknesses, sins and vulnerabilities. Sadly, I have taken this path far too often—finding great satisfaction in skewering his failures to the wall, especially if I feel he’s done the same to me.

We can be one hot mess, for sure!

I’m learning ever so slowly to realize in those moments that my husband will always be a flawed, sinful and irritating human being—as will I!

Yet . . .

[Tweet “God extends love and forgiveness to my irritating self over and over and over again! “]

What makes me think that I should be exempt from this constant mercy-giving and kindness-extending? I tend to think it is because I’ve been hurt, so I need to hurt my hubby back in order for him to get the message and change!

What needs to change, however, is my heart.

I need to turn to the Lord, who is my only TRUE love to comfort and heal the damage my hubby may have inflicted. And as I turn to Jesus for that soul-satisfaction, not only do I feel renewed personally, but I also feel refueled to love my hubby better.

If we want to create a confessional culture in our marriages, we have to be willing to do three important and very, VERY challenging things:

1. Endure insult and emotional injury from our mates {within reason—patterns of abuse are not included here}.
2. Trust that covering our mate’s vulnerabilities and weaknesses is what Christ calls us to do.
3. Turn to Christ continually to heal and fill our aching, hungry, and wounded hearts.

I’d love to have you join me in a challenge this week and moving forward …

The next time your mate and mine does something that screams for “exposure,” choose instead to “cover” their weaknesses and sins with mercy and love.*

If you made “covering your mate’s failures and sins” your default response, how do you think it would impact your marriage?

When have you experienced this “covering” from your spouse and how did it transform your feelings in that moment or over the long-haul?

*This is not about enabling unhealthy patterns in our mates, but rather about learning to be gracious and merciful. I’ll be discussing and fleshing out “enabling” in a future post.

Joining with my friends at Giving Up on Perfect, Wifey Wednesday, A Little R & R Wednesdays, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Coffee and Conversation, Cozy Reading List, So Much at Home and Wholehearted Wednesday.

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