Never Asked My Spouse to Help and Wedded Wed Link Up!

The System

While I’m taking a four week break from blogging, I’m sharing some older posts from way back in MM’s vault. This was my very first post that kicked-off a series I dubbed the “Top 10 Mistakes I Made in Marriage.” It was published way back on October, 10 of 2010! Whoa, can’t believe it’s been […]

Too Close to Your Spouse? & Link up!

Too Close

While I’m taking a break from blogging, I’m sharing some older posts from way back in MM’s vault. This article was originally published almost two years ago to this day – July 18th, 2012! What? Did I read that right? Can I really be too close to my spouse? Maybe that’s what you were thinking […]

Realistic Expectations and WW Link Up!

Life Needs Pruning

I’ve just finished a forgiveness series that I’m planning on turning into a free ebook for my current and new subscribers. Yay! But in order to do that and to tackle the more-than-I-can-properly-describe-long-list-of-to-do’s, I must take time away from blogging. That doesn’t mean I’m leaving Messy Marriage without a weekly post—actually “repost.” During my month […]

Assuming Too Much & WW Link Up!

Slow to Anger

Part of what I do as a counselor and life coach is to “speculate.” It’s easy to let this “skill” that’s often appropriate in one setting, carry over to my personal relationships where it is far from appropriate! In fact, whenever I’m around my hubby and speculate about what someone might think or feel, he very matter-of-factly […]

How Successful is Your Reconciliation? And Link Up

3 Signs of Reconciliation

There’s no easy answer to the question: What are the signs that reconciliation is not going to work? But … I would like to offer you Leslie Vernick’s three essential ingredients to a thriving relationship as a guide for assessing how well your reconciliation {particularly in marriage} is going. The first essential ingredient is … […]

The Secret to Lasting Change

Lasting Change

Continuing in our forgiveness series, we’re going to look at the GIANT-sized task we have in replacing hurtful patterns and living out and staying committed to healthy ways of thinking and relating in the reconciliation process {particularly in the context of marriage}. This means we’ll be looking at this from the perspective of the one […]

How to Let Bitterness Go

Christ Brings Perspective

Today I want to look at the difficulty of releasing any hurt or bitterness we feel due to the sins “someone we are trying to reconcile with” may continue to commit against us. I want to stress, this is for the person who has chosen to forgive an offending spouse, has emotionally and spiritually worked […]

One Attitude Keeping Us from Reoffending

Seeds of Humility

Today in our forgiveness series I’m discussing, “How an offender can maintain perspective and humility, so that reoffending is avoided and diminished, and change is achieved.” I sometimes I don’t realize how my offending behavior hurts my spouse and seeing this is crucial to honoring his boundaries and avoiding reoffending him. Here are some reasons […]

Amends – What Do They Look Like?

Amends Making

I’m returning to our series on forgiveness this week by highlighting how to make amends, as well as, how to determine if the amends are being fulfilled. I’m taking much of what I’m going to discuss from Beyond Boundaries—a great book for anyone seeking to rebuild a damaged relationship and it’s currently bargain priced for […]

Redeeming the Year of the Broken-Down

Brokenness

I keep promising things I can’t really deliver. That is SOOOO not like me! I’ve always prided myself in my follow-through, but my life continues to be just.too.crowded. I keep thinking of the iconic scene in “I Love Lucy” where Lucy and Ethel were working in a chocolate factory and the speed is just too […]