First Step to Get Your Heart Right in a Messy Marriage And Linkup

The continual mending of my messy marriage can be traced back to one foundational shift in my life that created a cascade of other important and healing choices. Ultimately this had everything to do with my heart in relation to God. So with that in mind, I’m going to begin a new series that will […]

How Grief and Humility Sets You Free And WW Linkup

Early on in my marriage, when we were full-throttle in the messes of our own making, the last thing I wanted to do was admit my part in those messes. And the more I ran from taking responsibility and the more I pointed the finger of blame at my husband for “driving me to make […]

Call it what it is—Adultery! And WW Linkup

I have a confession to make … I’m an adulterer. 🙁 Sadly, I have sins in my life that have moved from a one time offense, to a habit, to a compulsion, to an addiction. I mentioned some of those in my last post that you can read here. In fact, we all need to […]

Settling this Matter Matters

I spend a lot of time here at Messy Marriage giving practical helps and tools for dealing with the messes in marriage, but the bottom line is that none of that matters if you don’t settle one thing! The one thing you must settle is Christ and what He did for you and me. #SaviorandLord […]

Covering for My Spouse and WW Linkup

I think there’s just something in the DNA of every human being that tries to cover up vulnerabilities and weaknesses that we see in ourselves. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about, because that describes me much more than I’d like to admit! However, I think this pattern started way back in the Garden […]

3 Ways to Handle a Failed Confession And WW Linkup!

Sometimes you do everything to prepare your heart and mind for a confessional moment with your spouse, and yet it fails! How can that happen? Typically this happens in the heat of the moment and for various reasons. Consider this scenario: You’ve prayed and processed, processed and prayed and feel that you’re ready to humbly […]

What ’50 Shades’ Reveals about Your Marriage and WW Linkup!

I’m amazed at all the hype surrounding 50 Shades of Grey. Our country and probably the world is celebrating the release of this movie in more “shades” than I can count. I haven’t seen a lot of talk on the news or TV about the backlash this movie is creating, but I see it in […]

Will you meet ‘my’ needs? SJT Video

In this video, I share how anytime I seek my independence and focus on getting “my needs”* met in marriage, I create something of a “tug-of-war” with my husband. I offer a “work-in-progress” strategy that has changed the dynamic and atmosphere of my marriage drastically for the better whenever I use it! I hope you’ll check it out […]

How to Let Bitterness Go

Today I want to look at the difficulty of releasing any hurt or bitterness we feel due to the sins “someone we are trying to reconcile with” may continue to commit against us. I want to stress, this is for the person who has chosen to forgive an offending spouse, has emotionally and spiritually worked […]

Shame on You?!

There are many of who feel shameful for sin(s) you’ve committed, perhaps way in your past or even ones you still cling to and commit today. These shameful thoughts not only make your marriage and life “messier” … But are an insult to God! Yes, you heard that right! I might be heaping a bit […]