When Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM

Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue unpacking the rest of the “love styles”—“Vacillator,” “Controller,” and “Victim” in the weeks to come. So stick around! I am, by default, […]

Are You Pushing or Encouraging Your Mate Spiritually?

Most of you know that I’m a pastor’s wife, but that doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of pushing my hubby spiritually when it seems like he’s not pursuing God with the same intensity as I am. Of course, sometimes he feels that way about me too. 😉 We all go through seasons when our spiritual […]

Dealing with Emotional Blockage of PTSD in Marriage

Today I’m back behind the camera, picking up where Gary, my husband, and I left off last spring when we were answering some of the questions posed to us here at Messy Marriage, including one on PTSD. When a spouse suffers from PTSD due to combat or past traumas, it can cause extreme emotional fallout […]

Discussing Sticky Issues with Your Mate Without Getting Stuck

If you’re like me, you’ve often let your mouth fly wide open to reveal the manipulative and prideful intentions behind an effort “to discuss” a sticky issue. Ugh! You’re thinking that your words will bring clarity and understanding for your mate (cue the sound of angels singing from heaven). But all you really offered your […]

4 Tempting Reasons We Fill the Gap And Linkup!

After reading some of the comments from my last post on the bad habit of “filling the gap” or assuming what we think our spouse or others feel/think, I realized that a “map” of sorts would be helpful (thanks to the insights from bloggers Patrick and Andrew). This map identifies some of the landmarks or […]

Think You Know Your Mate’s Feelings? And Linkup

I’m a “gap-filling” girl. If someone starts to say something and stops to think of the right word for it, I suggest all sorts of words to help that poor soul fill in the gap. If someone’s facial expressions or tone of voice don’t match up with his/her words, then I fill in the gap […]

Being a Bossy-Pants Wife And WW Linkup

I find it amazing how every good gift that God gives can be taken and ruined—when given time and wrong motives—by us as humans.  After all, a careful and wise use of control is what every good leader needs to wield! The trouble comes when you have two leaders fighting for control! #toomanychiefs Click To […]

De-stressing My Life

I’m entering a really busy season in my life and that’s saying a lot because I’m always busy! So during the month of April I may be less “present” here than I typically am or would like. But I want you to know that I always read your comments and try to get to the […]

My Husband’s View on Spiritual Leadership

I’m excited to add a new installment to my “Pick Hubby’s Brain” video series this week. We’ve had some camera issues (and quite frankly, are still having some issues to iron out) but am happy to offer some food for thought from my wise and witty hubby on the sticky subject of spiritual leadership. I […]

What Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup

Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your feelings? (I allowed the men to choose all that applied) 70.49% – My fear of […]