Getting Your Spouse to Open Up – Part Two (Video)

Today I’m talking about the second half of the process that will encourage your spouse to open up and engage with you in conversation. I feel like this should be a process that is built brick by brick—keeping each brick in place as the foundation of trust in your marriage is built, perhaps for the […]

How does listening heal when working toward reconciliation?

I’m answering in the form of a video an MM reader’s question today on the issue of listening to his wife’s pain when coming to the reconciliation table. Unfortunately, the process of reconciliation can be tough, even brutal for both parties. But it’s sort of like surgery. Whenever we need it, we submit ourselves to […]

3 Steps to Avoid a Parenting Power Struggle

It’s easy to think that when your spouse does something that bugs you and you react, that you are making a conscious choice born out of your freewill to resist. But more times than not, you are allowing yourself to be controlled by your spouse’s actions or words. Today I want to continue the series […]

How Small Acts of Love Transform Your Heart And WW Linkup

When we first get married, connecting with our spouse almost always feels as natural as breathing. You feel compelled to connect because your emotions are so strong and vibrant for your bride or groom. You want to get to know everything there is to know about this mysterious person because, well, … you don’t know […]

10 of My Favorite Posts

I’d like to share ten of my favorite posts (in no particular order) that I’ve done here at Messy Marriage. Most are recent, but there are a few that go a bit further back in the vault. I hope you find them to be encouraging, thought-provoking and marriage-challenging! Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings Find God’s Redemptive […]

‘Everybody Loves Vulnerability’ And WW Linkup!

I am still unpacking what I feel are the important aspects of creating a confessional culture today, which leads me to share about a vulnerable and unflattering moment of mine in my own marriage. Sometimes the best way to communicate a reality is to learn from a real-life and raw human encounter in marriage. It […]

When Your Apology is Used Against You – And WW Linkup!

It’s never easy to make yourself vulnerable nor to lay your heart out on the table in a sincere and humble apology before the one person on earth who matters most—your spouse. But what’s worse is when your spouse uses your apology against you. Typically, a spouse won’t do this unless: Your spouse simply got […]

3 Ways to Handle a Failed Confession And WW Linkup!

Sometimes you do everything to prepare your heart and mind for a confessional moment with your spouse, and yet it fails! How can that happen? Typically this happens in the heat of the moment and for various reasons. Consider this scenario: You’ve prayed and processed, processed and prayed and feel that you’re ready to humbly […]

When and When NOT To Apologize – Plus WW Linkup!

Creating a confessional culture in your marriage should be developed with both discernment and timing in mind. Like most changes you want to make in life or marriage, you must go slowly and strategically, unless you are prepared for the entire effort to backfire on you! This is especially true if your spouse is not […]

How to Apologize Effectively and WW Linkup!

I grew up in a home where apologies were rarely extended or witnessed. We were a loving bunch, but somehow this important practice of acknowledging our sins and apologizing to each other was never clearly present, at least not in my view. Unfortunately, that also became true for my marriage in the early days. Gary […]