How and What to Pray for Your Spouse Plus Linkup!

I was raised in a pastor’s home where prayer was an everyday occurrence, at least around the table. But oddly enough, I can’t recall ever seeing my parents pray together as a couple. That might explain why their marriage was probably messier than my own has been. And though I’m a pastor’s wife, I have […]

10 of My Favorite Posts

I’d like to share ten of my favorite posts (in no particular order) that I’ve done here at Messy Marriage. Most are recent, but there are a few that go a bit further back in the vault. I hope you find them to be encouraging, thought-provoking and marriage-challenging! Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings Find God’s Redemptive […]

Does Your Spouse Need Perspective? SJT Video

Ever find yourself in the middle of a painful conversation about a past hurt with your spouse, and you don’t know why your spouse isn’t resonating with or able to receive in a gracious way how s/he has hurt you? Well, in my latest Sloppy Joe Time video, I talk about what you both need […]

The Communication Tool that Opens Hearts … and Linkup!

If you’ve been viewing over the past month or so my video podcasts, then you’re aware that I promised to tell you about a communication “tool” that my husband and I use to handle conflicts effectively. That tool is “reflective listening.” I’m going to provide detailed instructions on how to practice reflective listening in its […]

How to Receive Your Spouse’s Hurt – Video

I’m back with another installation of  “Sloppy Joe Time” that unpacks the many sloppy expectations we have in life and marriage. Today’s video tackles how to receive the hard truth of how you’ve hurt your spouse. After all, if we are breathing and have a pulse, we will hurt our spouse! We may not always do it […]

Am I Your Soft Place to Fall? Video

Today, I’m sharing another video in our series of “sloppy expectations” in marriage. I explore the best way to respond to our spouses when we are confronted by how we’ve hurt them.     What thoughts typically run through your head when your spouse shares how you’ve hurt them?    What do you think could help you to look […]

When Can You Handle My Hurt? Video

Well, I’m back and excited to share my 5th “computer-side chat” with all of you {with a special shout out going to my sweet friend, Linda over at Creekside Ministries}! Each video in this series tackles the “sloppy expectations” we have in marriage, with this week being about the timing and sensitivity needed when sharing […]

The Price of Retaliating

 In the book, Forgiving and Reconciling, Dr. Worthington talks about the “Injustice Gap.” It’s when we try to equalize the pain we’ve felt at the hands of our offender by requiring some kind of justice or amends. Dr. Worthington goes on to say that in trying to bridge the “Injustice Gap”, we don’t just require […]

Marriage Mistake #8 – Let My Spouse’s Bad Behavior Control Mine

The Mistaken Game My husband and I have had a game that we carried from our childhood into our marriage. No, we don’t play “Ken and Barbie” into all hours of the night, nor do we hold “who can belch the loudest?” contests either! You see, it’s the age old game of “Tit for Tat.” […]